‘Whoa! Looks like when they made this fella, they forgot to put in the quit.’
– Buster Scruggs
As inspiring as it may sound; the fella without the quit was shot dead. To be inspired can be morbid. Between now and the last episode of Fundraising for Machine Dalal , I have had a difficult patch. Primarily because the seed investor stopped seeding further. In my defence I have yet to consume even quarter of the funds allocated. In his defence, he did help me weather a storm that would have truly swept my ship.
And there is this parable of Cat and Mouse in a partnership. Now this is not exactly that but in the Grimm Fairy Tales there is a story of a cat and the cat and the mouse agree to live together and save food for winter, but the cat secretly eats it all while lying to the mouse. When the truth comes out, the cat kills the mouse — a bleak tale about betrayal and unequal partnerships.
Unequal partnerships are unequal partnerships, especially when people like me come from a place of weakness; where we are dependent upon investor, who gradually graduates from an investor to a benefactor to a philanthropist and your product undergraduates from a Would-Be-IPO to a charity.
Failure and Regrets
Reality is unpleasant. You do not have money, you miss some payments. So how do you move? As always one step at a time.
This was Arsene Wenger’s advice to Thiery Henry about what could he do when his team wasn’t feeding him. Enhance the skill of the team you have and then worry about the weaknesses. I am doing that already. You don’t need the details; it is a bit technical and not germane to the story.
Personally I am not afraid of failures, although that would not be my first choice. And if I did not give up; maybe I will succeed.
But if do not see this through; I would regret and regret is something I can ill-afford. Even in worst case scenario this is a viable product that will meet its operational costs and then some.
May not buy me a house; but maybe my monthly mortgage payments. You take what you can.
Am I of Age?
It also helps that the research suggests that a successful start-up founder is about 45. Research is linked here.
The product has matured with steady users and the software has stabilized as well. These are good things. And good things are always good.
Hope comes in many forms, but we have to create our own stories, our own way forward but also not get delusional along the way. Success is not promised to anyone. We either create it or we don’t. We succeed or we fail. And all said and done the universe’s timing is perfect even if it doesn’t suit your ego. I cannot hope for things to happen; I can only work to make them happen.
Tomorrow is promised to no one. Meanwhile, I go on.
Am I alarmed?
In so many ways, no. But in some ways, yes.
For Those who work for your dreams, you are responsible for their livelihood. So you have to pay the salaries, and the office rent and meet the cost of compute. It takes money to make money, otherwise every pauper would be a king. So are the ways of this world and that does keep me up some nights.
Personal failures are much more acceptable than organizational failures. But for most part I am unfazed by all this. Tomorrow is promised to no one and I feel that is what being a boss is all about. You steer the ship the best you can. Sometimes it is smooth, sometimes it isn’t you hit rocks and you learn to navigate.
And if I were alarmed, would it help?
Who am I?
I would like to think that I am a man of indomitable will and spirit. But I am not unrealistic either, but today I stand strong and am moving on, building Machine Dalal, one day at a time.
How many times I wished days may go by, forgetting it’s my own life”
– Nizar Qabbani